BREATHE

I look toward your photograph, silently wondering how we got to be this way. You had always told me that you would always be there, if only in spirit. At the time I gave it no serious consideration. After all, if it was anybody to...die, it would probably be me.
I mean really. There was reckless me who was always up for a good fight. Then there was you. My sweet, quiet Alexander, who didn’t have a bad word to his name.
As I threw your picture against the wall, I screamed. An earth-shattering scream that tore through my throat like a tidal wave. A scream filled with desperation of the horrors from the past and horrors yet to come.
You were my everything, and you threw me away like some rag doll. You just needed that one taste of freedom didn’t you? To make everything go away. But what you didn’t know is that it would take you away too. In those last months it took you away from everybody you held dear. Just for that one taste of freedom.
I sit here gasping for breath that would never come. Not while you were dead and I living, at least. As I struggle with the grip of insanity coming on towards me, I think.
Why should I fight my impending doom when there is nobody there to save me. When there is no one that cares enough to ask me if I was all right.
I slowly walk toward our-my room and look in your favorite hiding spot. There I see what I have been looking for. Your freedom... And soon to be mine. I then slowly push it toward my vein and start to feel the euphoria that it has caused. Pleasure induced pain, and pain gave way to nothingness.
I sat there holding the slightly rusty needle and start to become horrified. What I had done was no different from what you did to escape the pain.
I then took the needle out of my arm and silently cried. Soon that turned into gut-wrenching sobs of agony and torture.
I sat there kneeling and crying, my shoulders shaking from the after effects of the high that I was on, for god knows how long. Then I got up.
Soon all I could think about was getting to you. I didn’t care how, but I needed you with all my heart and soul. I walked into the kitchen with a new determination. I would get to you one way or another. The sooner the better.
The knife was glinting softly in the pale moonlight, it’s blade stretched towards me in a silent invitation. I looked at it and went to pick it up.
When I was back in our-my room I lifted it slowly to my wrist. I smiled slightly. I needed to go and I needed to go now. I wouldn’t give into the pain-filled promises of forever and how I couldn’t give into death when you left me. Forever. When you left me forever.
I started to laugh. A bitter, sardonic laugh that would have everybody within a 5-mile radius of me flee in terror. Not that anyone was here anyways. They all left after Alexander and eventually me tried to tear them out of our blackened hearts.
I looked down at my arms. Without me being conscious of it I had already locked into my death. I heard a quiet plunking noise and looked to the carpet. There was a tiny bloodstain on the once pure white carpet.
My vision started to go black around the edges and I let myself sink into the bliss of death. Before I could succumb into blackness though I haltingly started to move to the shards of glass that held my treasure. Despite the glass going into my fingers I picked up the old photograph.
There was Alexander and I oblivious to everything else but each other. I felt myself slip to the floor and this time I did not fight the darkness that started to surround me.
With one last mournful cry I slipped into the darkness that I had forever longed to be in.

THE END